ACEVEDO

Soldier finds worth in challenges that made her who she is

Spc. Kelly Acevedo

Public Affairs Specialist 

4-11-2022

Three years ago I made a decision that changed the future for my family and me.
At only 19 years old, I decided to do something bigger than myself and enlist in the United States Army. After taking the oath of enlistment I felt proud and different. I was proud because it was the beginning of a difficult journey that would begin and expedite the process for my parents to become citizens. I felt different because I would be the first woman in my family to join the military.
On March 4, 2019, I left Pasadena, Calif. and shipped out to Fort Leonard Wood, Missouri for basic training as a combat engineer.
I said goodbye to my family and officially moved out, a difficult process considering I had never left home. With the decision to leave came reality and the need to grow up.
The day I graduated basic training, I shipped out to my first duty station, good old Fort Polk, La. After constantly being made fun of by my drill sergeants for having Fort Polk as my first duty station, being sent off quickly was definitely a thoughtful graduation gift from them.
Upon arriving to my unit, I noticed I stood out. I was one of two females in my platoon and one out of 11 females in the entire company.
Not only did I need to adapt to an environment that was male dominated, but the need to build relationships and a family away from home was immediately intimidating.
As a combat engineer you’re given guidance on how to train with your peers and win a war, but as a young woman in this type of atmosphere, I felt alone. At this point, feeling different wasn’t a good thing.
 In time, I did find my Army family. It was definitely different and had a higher male to female ratio, but it felt just right. Within this family I gained role models, teachers and friends.
I soon learned that I was not the only female struggling to fit in. These Soldiers helped me realize that I did not have to be like my male counterparts to succeed, but was capable of thriving by being like myself instead. I watched women in my military occupation fail and succeed just as much as the males did. In time, I felt confident that what I offered was enough. I just wish I had realized this sooner.
As an E-3 I had the opportunity to lead a team of three to maneuver through an objective during a platoon live fire.
The mission was difficult, yet for some reason my squad leader saw something in me that I didn’t see. During the practice runs I was hurting, physically and mentally.
I constantly wondered what the male Soldiers were doing to lead their team so well, while I failed mine.
My commander let me know I did a bad job. He even warned me to do better or become a mechanic for the company. Have you ever heard the joke about the two combat engineers who tried to fix — well anything? Me neither. I’m sure the joke is as bad as the repair.
I was so embarrassed. I had all the resources and knowledge to successfully lead a team, yet I struggled. I called my boyfriend when I had some downtime about how bad the training had gone.
That was when I realized, I had no confidence in the role I filled. I constantly second guessed my next move and wondered if I was doing as well as a male leader. That was the root of my failure.
I realized what I needed to do was actually simple. Stop feeling sorry for myself and just get the job done.
After countless failed attempts, my team performed impeccably. I dislocated my right knee and placed it back in place during the mission, feeling absolutely crazy yet dedicated.
Honestly, I never felt more alive. I promise I’m not crazy, I’m just an engineer. I left the field that night with two bad knees, bruised from my ankles to my thighs, a lovely reminder that my equipment would need some deep cleaning after looking at my muddy vest, and a sense of accomplishment.
I went on to become a team leader in my platoon as an E-4 and filled the role of a squad leader while most of my platoon was out for a hurricane relief mission. I filled these roles while pregnant and can honestly say I think I made my Soldiers proud.
When a Soldier would come to me with issues, military or non-military related, I knew I was doing just fine. I think I flourished so well because I stopped wondering what other Soldiers were doing better. Instead, I reflected on my own actions in order to improve for my Soldiers.
My time in the military has surely been far from easy, but an experience that I am grateful for. I gained confidence.
That allowed me to grow as a woman who struggled with self-doubt. I applied a new perspective to an environment that intimidated me, but forced me to come out of my shell.
New service members often feel that there is no room for mistakes, but there is. The mistake is when you stop believing in yourself because you decided you can’t compete where you believe you don’t compare.
So what is my experience serving as a woman in the military?
Well, it surely hasn’t been a walk in the park, but that’s okay.
The knowledge and wisdom I’ve gained has helped me grow and made me a better woman and Soldier.