Devon Douglas, age 6                                                   Cpl. Devon Douglas today

Silence no way to deal with sexual assault

By Cpl. Devon Douglas
Fort Polk BOSS President

April 19, 2019

FORT POLK, LA. — Today I'd like to tell my child molestation story to help raise awareness. I said I would take it to the grave but it could’ve put me in the grave.

As a child, I went through a traumatic event that I was silent about for more than 10 years. I questioned God, family, friends, everybody's sexuality and even my own life. I can remember not liking people hugging me or showing affection unless I felt safe.

See, I was never taught to stay away from people I knew, I was taught to stay away from strangers. I was silent because at the time I didn't know what was going on and once I learned about what the man on top of me was doing, I felt guilt, shame and fear. I thought I would be called a liar or ridiculed so I stayed silent.

I went through a lot of battles and did a lot of things I'm not proud of. Depression and suicide had my mind and addictions took my time, but through it all, I was still able to smile and touch lives.

But nobody knew how heavy this was; I only allowed people to see the good in my life. I took all of my pain and turned it around to motivate and inspire others to be better and do better. After all I went through, I forgave the man who molested me. I can say I'm at peace and it's because of the grace of God that I'm still alive today.

Everything you go through will have an impact on your life whether good or bad. Regardless if it was 19 years, 3 years or last year, it was wrong and you don't just get over it.

But you don't let your story control your life. Talk to your kids about good touch and bad touch. That conversation went silent over the years but the crime is still being committed and no one appears before a judge. I promise telling your story won't be easy, but it's half the battle and that goes for anything you've been through.

I'm telling you this because it's a burden being lifted and a chapter being closed. It gives me a genuine smile knowing I can help someone and bring awareness because it happens to people you know.

I have helped other people get their attackers in court or finally to tell the story they've been holding in. No longer should anyone be silent or ashamed.

 I am not a victim: I am a survivor. All of us are survivors; we all have survived something or else we wouldn't be here. So support and love each other. There is power in the words you speak.

To the Queens of my heart, thank you for supporting this decision to tell my story and always praying for me — most days never knowing why. My best days are right in front of me because now I'm free, and this chapter is closed. You’re looking at a miracle. Feel free to share or ask questions, you never know who is going through this.